"Grow up with me.
Let’s run in fields and fear the dark together.
Fall off swings, and burn special things,
and both play outside in bad weather.
Let’s eat badly.
Let’s watch adults drink wine and laugh at their idiocy.
Let’s sit in the back of the car,
making eye contact with strangers driving past,
making them uncomfortable.
Let’s both reclaim our superpowers;
the ones we all have and lose with our milk teeth.
The ability not to fear social awkwardness.
To panic when locked in the cellar;
still sure there’s something down there.
And while picking from pillows each feather,
let’s both stay away from the edge of the bed,
forcing us closer together.
Let’s sit in public, with ice cream all over both our faces;
sticking our tongues out at passers by.
Let’s not find it funny lest someone falls over.
Classical music is boring.
Poetry baffles us both;
there’s nothing that’s said is what’s meant.
Plays are long, tiresome, sullen, and filled;
with hours that could be spent rolling down hills,
and grazing our knees on cement.
Let’s hear stories and both lose our innocence.
Learn about parents and forgiveness,
death and morality,
kindness and art,
thus losing both of our innocent hearts,
but at least we won’t do it apart.
Grow up with me.”
Wake up angry, rub the wrinkles around your eyes. They don’t go away. You’re angry. You’ve been waking up angry for years now. It shows.
There are scratches on your skin where you can’t stand yourself. You brandish them to the world. ‘This is what you have made me.’ This is what the world made you - strong and wild-eyed and built on insecure foundations. This is what the world made you - angry and determined.
You glare at men irately in the street and take up both armrests on public transport. People side-eye you as though you’re unreasonable. A woman sits next to you. She looks tired. You let her have her fair share of the armrest.
Someone opens the door for you on the way to work. You say thank you. They slap your ass as you pass by. You have never wished so vehemently that you could take your words and wrap them around someone’s throat and twist and see their eyes bulge in fright. In your head, they echo what you’re sure you’ve heard leave the mouth of half the female protagonists you’ve ever seen on screen. ‘What are you going to do to me?’
So, you admit it. ‘Do to me.’ I am going to do something to you. You aren’t going to want it. I’m laughing at you, not with you. This is to you, not with you, and certainly not for you. Remember that.
You stop choking them; they fall to the floor. You aren’t sure whether they’re trying to catch their breath because you used force against them or because you stood up for yourself and it actually scared them. Blink: in reality, there was a split second where you decided whether to turn around and say something or to keep walking. You were unsure which would give them power and which would set them straight. They are still staring at your ass as you walk away. You are sure that both of your options would have empowered them, so you may as well have given them a bruise. But you are already gone.
You’ve been waking up angry since you were ten and you saw someone on the news mention women’s rights. What was ‘feminism’, and why did his lip curl when he said it? you wondered, and you searched, and you found red.
You found rape statistics, classroom statistics, boys-are-more-confident-than-girls statistics, why all men want their girlfriends to do anal, why you should please him, mothers taking their daughters to self defence classes, MRA speeches, pro-life opinions, the condescending and harmful thoughts of men before you in chalk on a Google search and the sudden knowledge that it would never hurt a single one of them.
That stranger who commented on Beyoncé’s picture saying exactly what he’d like to do to her will get hired straight out of college. Slack-jawed teachers will jokingly berate their students, preaching ‘boys will be boys’, before frowning pointedly at bare shoulders and skirts above the knee and ‘shouldn’t have risen to the bait’.
When you were ten, you found red, and you’ve never given up red since. Red in your mouth, red in your veins, red in your underwear. Red. Red on your fingernails, red on your lips. You put away nurturing pink and calm blue for another day. Today you wear red."
"I write in order to comprehend, not to express myself."
I’m at war w myself. I feel like I don’t deserve love.. I’m afraid to be in relationships. I’ve tried analyzing my life. I come from a great family that’s always been full of love and unity.. it can’t be separation anxiety/attachment issues or something like that.. I don’t know how to overcome this fear
This is the best thing i’ve ever heard
My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade - 0:00
Green Day - Good Riddance - 0:12
Panic! at the Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies - 0:24
blink-182 - What’s My Age Again? - 0:34
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle - 0:46
We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet - 0:46
Third Eye Blind - Graduate - 0:56
All Time Low - Weightless - 0:58
All Time Low - Dear Maria Count Me In - 1:07
Switchfoot - Meant to Live - 1:18
Fall Out Boy - Sugar We’re Going Down - 1:07
My Chemical Romance - I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - 1:29
Boys Like Girls - Thunder - 1:40
30 Seconds to Mars - Kings and Queens - 1:50
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue - 1:59
Relient K - Be My Escape - 2:00
Relient K - Sadie Hawkins Dance - 2:03
Simple Plan - I’d Do Anything - 2:14
Paramore - Misery Business - 2:15
Rise Against - Savior - 2:25
Sum 41 - Fat Lip - 2:33
My Chemical Romance - Teenagers - 2:34
Fountains of Wayne - Stacy’s Mom - 2:43
All American Rejects - Gives You Hell - 2:51
blink-182 - Feeling This - 2:53
Lit - My Own Worst Enemy - 3:08
Sum 41 - In Too Deep - 3:09
The Cab - One of THOSE Nights - 3:37
Relient K - High of 75 - 3:37
blink-182 - I Miss You - 3:37
Paramore - That’s What You Get - 3:48
AFI - Miss Murder - 4:03
Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem - 4:04
Cute Is What We Aim For - Curse of Curves - 4:18
30 Seconds to Mars - Closer to the Edge - 4:30
A Day to Remember - All I Want - 4:45
Mayday Parade - Jamie All Over - 4:57
Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - 4:57
Cartel - Say Anything (Else) - 5:22
Taking Back Sunday - MakeDamnSure - 5:37
Rise Against - Audience of One - 5:47
Fall Out Boy - Sugar We’re Going Down - 5:48
I FOUND IT KEANI!!
this is the best thing ever created
OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS PERFECT
This. Is. Perfect.
Oh no the memories